Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hey, Free Money!

Congratulations to the North Pacific nation of Palau, who just used Americans' irrational fear of 17 Chinese Uighur separatists to bilk us out of 200 million smackeroos. Of course, it would have cost us a fraction of that to grant them asylum (they would have been killed if they went back to China) and resettled them in, say, Raleigh.

But that would have been logical, and I don't think most people are thinking with the logical bits of their brain when it comes to Gitmo detainees. So congratulations, you just got us scammed by Palau because you're scared shitless for no good reason. Good job, you just more than doubled Palau's GDP.

Two final notes. We had already released a few of the Uighurs to Albania before they decided to stop under pressure from Beijing. How pissed off are those guys now? I mean, they end up in a depressing post-communist Balkan country and their friends are in a country that's basically a giant resort? Talk about a raw deal. Second, Palau is dependent on the U.S. for pretty much everything, to the point where Palauan citizens don't need a visa to come here for work or to live. So if Palau gives them citizenship, they can come and live here whenever they want.

1 comment:

Mike said...

I think I would be willing to accept 10 million dollars to house a single prisoner from Gitmo, which would be a discount for our government. First thing I would do is spend 5 of it buying a small house (I hear costs are dropping) and turning it into a ridiculously secure large prison cell. I'd set aside another mil or so to hire some guards, and then pocket the other 4. Sounds like win-win-win to me.

On a side note, as a sign of my sad mental state these days, the first thing I thought of when I saw the post's title was, "Heeeeeyyyy, Macarena!" Which made me want to beat my own brains in.