Friday, January 07, 2005

Why?

This is a disturbing trend I've noticed: Why do the supermarkets around here keep condoms in locked cabinets? Do they want people to have unprotected sex?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

That same question can be asked of almost any sex-related restriction. That answer is no, they don't want people having sex at all. Of course, the supermarket probably has a stupider justification, because the only people they're stopping are those who (1) are too embarassed to ask someone to open the cabinet, (2) are too stupid or impatient to go someplace else where they're not locked up, AND (3) will manage to have sex anyway. That probably amounts to like seven people nationwide.

Alternatively, it may be so immature little kids don't shoplift them. But that's *really* reaching for the benefit of the doubt.

- Pierce

Mike said...

Remember you're in the Bible belt. Pierce is right, they want to discourage people from having sex period. I imagine it's less embarassing to simply walk up to the counter with a pack of condoms than to have to ask someone to unlock a cabinet and get them (although, not understanding why there should be embarassment at all, I can only speculate). Maybe that's the theory. Also, the shoplifting thing (condoms being easily compressible to fit in one's pocket).

Anonymous said...

I think it's because they don't want people trying them on in the store. Like that time I asked where the fitting room was at the CVS. God, that was embarrassing.

-- Jacob

Anonymous said...

They sell condoms in supermarkets?! Those godless, sex-encouraging heathens! I blame them for every single teen pregnancy. Why when I was a teenager, NOBODY ever had sex.

- Ben

P.S. In order to state the obvious - I'm j/k. (The Slant has taught me that nothing is ever obvious.)

Anonymous said...

Maybe they're afraid of getting sued?

Anonymous said...

Oops. The above comment is from Leah.

Jeff said...

I hope no one's dumb enough to sue because condoms are out in a store. But then, Banditos Theorem (for the uninitiated, "everybody knows the world is full of stupid people").

Thought I'd add this - around here, the "red" stores have them locked up (Lowe's, Food Lion, and Kerr Drug from NC, and Kroger from Ohio), while the "blue" stores (Minnesota's Target, RI's CVS) have them out in the open. The exception: Arkansas-based Wal-Mart.

And that's Lowe's the grocery store, not Lowe's the hardware store.

Anonymous said...

That's some hardware! [snicker]

Seriously, Jeff...how do you find out which stores are "red" or "blue"?

Speaking as the resident expert on all things legal, I'm having trouble thinking of a cause of action that could arise from having condoms outside of locked cabinets. I guess one could say that the store knows certain things get shoplifted and by "allowing" condoms to be shoplifted.....well, I was gonna say they negligently lead to a teen pregnancy or STD, but that's the whole thing condoms are supposed to prevent. Even if they somehow DID lead to an STD, causation would be a huge problem to any plaintiff's lawyer. I honestly can't see what legal issues there are to the placement of condoms.

I think it comes down to trying to appeal to the values of the community to which they are selling. In more conservative areas, stores don't want to be seen as promoting vice. Thus, Wal-Mart's policy of never selling CDs with parental advisory stickers. Similarly, some people might think that locking away condoms...and the above-mentioned Embarassment Factor...will keep a certain number of teens from premarital sex. And it probably would for some. But the obvious danger is that other teens will engage in unsafe premarital sex.

I'm guessing I'm not speaking to an audience that shares the values of these conservative shoppers....but that would probably be their reasoning.

- Ben

brainhell said...

You could ask. When I did, many years ago, they said that it was the most-shoplifted item, along with liquor.

Anonymous said...

Asking? Oh, come on. That's too easy. We're supposed to be mind-reading bloggers.

- Ben

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Brainhell. What kind of blogger actually goes out and asks questions? That's what reporters or for. We just talk out of asses. Or type with our asses. I wonder which would be harder? I'd try, but I'm afraid I'd break my laptop.

-- Jacob

Jeff said...

It doesn't work too well, Jacob - it just comes out looking like this: edxoizrgjgj,wEIjpa{Vrgp'recf. Brainhell - Thanks for doing the journalistic heavy lifting. You are now my research department. As far as the shoplifting thing is concerned, that may be part of it. But if Target, Wal-Mart, and CVS aren't scared of shoplifters, why are the others? On the other hand, if it were a whacked-out "moral" thing, why would Wal-Mart openly sell condoms and not explicit CDs?

Mike said...

Is anyone else intensely amused by the fact that the blog entry that has received the most comments is the three line entry about condoms?

Anonymous said...

Amused, but not particularly surprised. It was short enough that I didn't feel like I had to commit my heart and soul to it for three or four minutes, it used a bunch of reach-out-of-the-page-and-grab-you words like "condoms" and "I've", and it had just the right amount of antiestablishment paranoia that it was interesting but I didn't dismiss immediately it as lunatic conspiracy theorizing.

Jeff, if you really want a lot of comments, just replace the "Post a comment" link text with a picture of a boob. It can't miss!

- pierce