Saturday, July 19, 2008

ONAF, Brass Balls Edition

Back from a week-long vacation to Arkansas, and ready to blog again... with apologies to Stephen Colbert, here's a few people who apparently have some massive brass balls:

- The top generals of the U.S. Air Force, who are busy diverting counterterrorism funds so that - wait for it - they can have luxury seats on their airplanes. Congress has told them to quit, and yet they still press on. Along the way, they are extending their middle fingers to lower-ranking officers (who don't get to use the seats, natch, but have to watch the top brass use them), Congress, and the American taxpayer. Hell, any schmuck can steal government money and use it to pimp their rides. To do so out in the open, stealing from the money that's supposed to be used to keep us safe, and not care when you get called on it? Brass balls, my friend.

- The National Collector's Mint, whoever the hell that is, for this hilariously awful piece of commemorative bling. Keep in mind, folks, this is a private company seeking to make a profit by putting out fake money that supposedly commemorates 9/11. Keep in mind also that coins and money generally commemorate good things and people (Andrew Jackson on the 20 notwithstanding). The website doesn't do it justice, though - you have to see the TV ad, which plays in the top-right of the website. The announcer sounds way too happy. "Commemorate the deaths of 3000 people on one of the darkest days in U.S. history, now only $20 plus shipping and handling!" Anyone can profit off the memory of dead people, but to do so in a way that makes 9/11 look like the Lewis and Clark expedition? Brass balls.

- And finally, the entire population of Lebanon. Why? First, I need to explain to you who Samir Kuntar is. In 1979, he beached himself in a northern Israel town, dragged a civilian and his four-year-old daughter out onto the beach, executed the man, and bludgeoned the four-year-old to death with his rifle. (In the process, he indirectly killed the man's two-year-old, who was smothered when the kids' mom tried to keep him from screaming while they were hiding. Also, Kuntar denies killing the kid, saying she got caught in a crossfire with Israeli police - but come on, how does a kid get bludgeoned in a crossfire?) Basically, he's a loathsome child-killing steaming pile of shit. So what reaction do you suppose the Lebanese people gave this child-killing fuckface when he was freed by Israel (incidentally, in exchange for two dead bodies)? That's right, kids, a welcome fit for a Super Bowl winner (second photo down).

Any asshole can celebrate a garden-variety terrorist. But to take a guy who forced a four-year-old girl to watch her father be murdered before bashing her brains out with the butt of a rifle, someone who would be shunned and ostracized by anyone with any shred of human decency... and to put him on a pedestal? Massive, unbelievable brass balls.


Mike said...

- I grew up with a lot of Air Force jokes (naturally) and I'd love to hear what the source of said jokes would have to say about that. Unbelievable.

- I was wondering if anyone else had seen the TV ad for the commemorative 9/11 coins. It would be more hilarious if it weren't so disturbing.

- Worst. Prisoner exchange. EVER. The Lebanese reaction is a travesty.

Ben said...

Funny, generally I think of the Lebanese as pretty decent folk who are sick of being the punching bag (bombing bag?) for Hezbollah, Syria, and Israel. But WTF?

Were the celebrating Lebanese people Hezbollah adherent?