Fun fact: the only hit produced by a Google search on the word "shaqueeter" is a PDF of the April 2002 Slant issue where, in an article written by yours truly, Jerry Falwell references Shaqueeter 8:2.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives, already in progress.
Also, on the soccer front... I don't condone Zizou's headbutting, but Marco Materazzi is the dumbest schmuck on the planet if he thinks anyone will buy his excuse of "I don't even know what an Islamic terrorist is." (Official consensus right now is that Materazzi said "your mother is a terrorist whore," referencing Zidane's dying mom and thus provoking the cranial assault. Kinda harsh.)