Arkansas' Initiative 1 As Memo

From: The 57% of Arkansas voters who voted for Initiative 1 banning adoption by unmarried couples

To: The children of Arkansas

Re: Screw you

Dear children of Arkansas,

We write this to inform you that we're keeping you in foster care instead of allowing the loving, caring family you wanted to go home with to adopt you. We know that a stable, nurturing home is desirable for all children. We also understand the emotional toll an extended stay in foster care can have on a child, especially if you spend 20 months in foster care like the average Arkansas orphan. However, we feel that acting like moral scolds and letting unmarried and gay couples know that we disapprove of their lifestyle is far more important than your emotional and physical well-being.

So you know that nice gay couple you wanted to have adopt you? Or the nice couple that just doesn't believe in marriage? Yeah, well, now they can't do it. It's back to the foster system or the group home with you. Ha ha, screw you guys. Stupid kids. We're going to go back to our nice, cozy houses to whine about how the gays are destroying our country now. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

Oh, and we'd like to extend a special screw you to the taxpayers of our state, who are now going to be footing the bill for even more foster care. I mean, it's either that or repair our crappy roads, and I know you'd much rather use your money to crap on the gays and unmarrieds, right?

Sincerely,
57% of Arkansas Voters

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Arkansas also passed a Constitutional amendment that would remove language prohibiting court-certified idiots from voting. Which is a good thing, because apparently it would have disenfranchised 57% of Arkansas voters.