Foreign Concepts

There are some people that are begging to be made fun of. First on the list: anyone involved in the whole cartoon flustercuck. So let us take a moment to laugh at how silly the world is being.

To that Danish newspaper: what the hell were you thinking publishing that cartoon? You had to know it would engender this kind of response. Is making a point about a supposed bias in the media really worth this?

To the ambassadors who withdrew from Copenhagen over this: you are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Let me introduce you to a little concept called "freedom of the press." It's not that difficult to grasp. You ought to know about it if you're living in the West. The Danish government has NO CONTROL over what goes into a newspaper. Nor should it. So get your asses back to Copenhagen before you make fools of yourselves. Oh, wait, too late.

To the Middle Eastern Muslims who are burning things because of it: lighten up. Honestly. It won't be the last time someone makes fun of your religion. There are more important things for you to worry about. Like why you, personally, aren't getting any of that oil money. That's something to be pissed off about.

And finally, to these guys: we get it. You're launching a despicable cartoon contest in response to a despicable cartoon contest. Good job. You're exacting revenge in a lighthearted way. You're better than the idiots burning stuff. But - and I'm going to write this very slowly so your singular brain cell can process it - the Jews had nothing to do with this cartoon. Exact revenge on the people that attacked you, not on someone else. For example, if your country was attacked by people who live in Afghanistan, you wouldn't want to invade Iraq in response.

Hmmm.